Teaching Mathematics.Org
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Teaching Mathematics.Org |
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Math is the Foundation of Science. Science is the Foundation of our Economy!!This site is purely informational. We aim to create a place where students and teachers can exchange ideas and information. Please send contributions to admin@teachingmathematics.org |
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| University Weed out System Many professors think it and few say it. They think that most of the students at the university are just not going to get it. It doesn’t matter how I teach because the best will learn whether I teach well or not. Most students aren’t motivated and few deserve to be here. This is sometimes the attitudes of professors who have been teaching for quite some time. It is merely a way to make them feel better for the system they are a part of. Why? Professor Pressure Suppose you hold the carrot of making 100k a year in a nice luxurious career. Then, you have got a bunch of students mostly from upper class homes going to college. They were the brightest and the best from high schools around the nation. Most are smart and motivated. This poses a huge problem for a professor. Why? The university sets a rule that states that there must be a C average out of a class. The university sets another rule that states that you must have an A out of said class to go on further in luxurious 100k career. Automatically, most of the students are set up for failure. How can a professor get a C average with a lot of smart motivated students? Professor Cheats – Have some Tenure before Doing These Cheats Unrelated Material Testing The professors will often resort to cheating. For example, they will test on material unrelated to the syllabus, class discussion, or homework assignments. In one case, the professor bought us some pizza and apologized for his behavior. “Sorry,” he said. I needed to get a C average. The test was on derivatives and we spent the whole semester on multiplying matrices and algebra 2. There was no text for the class. Unrealistic Testing and Double Negatives A professor favorite is to come up with a test from *&%*. They will make up a test that uses a lot of double or triple negatives. The test is really testing your use of double negative decoding. For example, the question might say, “If Johnny didn’t decide not to do it, what did Johnny not decide to not do”? It’s a logic problem, but it has really nothing to do with knowledge of class material. The Report If a class gets above a C average, then the professor must do extra work. This involves explaining to the department, in a report, why this class was smarter than average. Professors hate this report and the department doesn’t like getting them; either. However, in rare occasions, a professor may fill out a report and say, “I just happen to have a smart class. I couldn’t get people to fail my test”. In this case, the professor feels dejected for not achieving the low class average. Library Materials Hack Put information, on hand, at the library. Don’t put the information in the syllabus. Casually mention, the first five minutes of class, that there is some information at the library that you can look at; for extra information. In this case, the professor doesn’t tell you that it is actually the only way to get a decent grade in the class. And, sure enough, only two people in the class actually find out about it and those are the students that talk to the professor after class every day. Office Hours Hack Deliberately skim over the most difficult part of the course. Act like you are in a hurry. For example, plan the lecture close to a holiday and only mention the material toward the end of the lecture. Then, tell the students to come to your office; if they just don’t get it. Then, don’t actually ever be in the office at the time you say you’ll be there. Office Hours Push-off If a student tracks you down for help, act like you are such an important and busy person that you can’t help them. This is especially important for the weed out classes. Better yet, inform the student of an assistant that has more time and give them some bogus office hours. No Textbooks This is an awesome trick you can try on your students. First of all, have a good textbook picked out for the class. This will make the administration think that you are doing your job. Then, tell all the students that the textbook isn’t required for the class. Go further and tell the students that the book is a waste of money because you will be giving them handouts for what will really be on the test. This will allow you to present false information the entire semester and really get the students at testing time. Have Assistants that Don’t Speak English Since you are such a busy professor, don’t do much of the work yourself. You don’t want to grade papers, attend labs, or teach students. You will give the majority of this work to your assistant. Be careful to get an assistant that doesn’t speak English. That way, it most certainly guarantees a low grade average and the blame isn’t really on you. The assistant will get the brunt of everything. If ever confronted, just tell them to talk to your assistant or the assistant boss who has bogus office hours. No Syllabus If you don’t have a syllabus, you can’t be held to expectations. Since students expect one, just make up a short one that doesn’t explain much except for the textbook (optional) and the testing dates. This will allow you to test on information that you don’t present. In addition, you can bring up surprise assignments that many of the students can’t fulfill in such a short time frame. Come Late on Test Day Always be nice and come early. You will come early on every quiz day and help the students with a short review of the material. The students will get used to your way of helping them right before the test. However, on the midterm and especially the final, come especially late to class. Tell the students you had car trouble or something like that. You will get two big advantages.
Open Bag Shotgun It’s almost like being a lawyer. If you open the bag, then you can be tested on it. Here is how it works. In the class before the midterm or final, start bringing up all kinds of new things that might be on the test. Only say one or two lines per item. Each one or two line item may represent a large body of knowledge that no student could expect to even read up on; let alone be test ready. In this way, you confuse a lot of students and send them down incorrect paths. By the end of the class, nobody will have a clue what to study. Then, just to make sure, throw in some of those open bags, here or there, to assure low test results.
Impossible Final Advantages Some students may miss a quiz, assignment or test. It happens. If this does happen, reassure the student that it doesn’t need to be made up because the real score will come from the final. In fact, don’t accept any late work or make up tests regardless of the persons predicament. The beauty is that you know the final is impossible and that everyone historically fails it. Be sure not to mention this. And, since the only way people pass is by their previous scores being averaged in, you have an almost for sure student to fail. Shout for joy!! The other benefit is that after the final is over you are done with the students. You don’t want to do that to them at midterm because they will hate you the rest of the semester.
For Good Measure If an A student gets an A-, they will probably not say anything to you about it. If they get a B or C, they will certainly approach you. You do have some grade leeway. If you want to, just mark everyone down a half a grade. You could just say you are grading on the curve. That means anyone can get anything; especially if you don’t release how the class performed in any details. This will provide you with more grade leeway for students that you like. You can easily boost some students a half a grade or so just because you want to. Rationalizations At first you might be appalled by the system, but over time you will become more hardened. It is much easier to accept things when you tell yourself the right kinds of things. Like?
Honesty and Integrity: That’s What
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